The Bloody Arena of Immortal Battle

KRAKOW, RUSSIA

[In the midnight woods, a panicked American girl emerges screaming from the forest. A lone officer patrolling the area manages to catch up, luckily able to speak in plain English for the lady.]

“The vampire… the vampire! It got Kevin!” blurts out the distressed damsel.

“Vampire? What vampire?”

“I never saw anything so horrible in my life! This was only supposed to be a simple field trip in a foreign country, but Kevin… He said he wanted to spend some time alone with me; but he ended up going toe to toe with a real honest-to-goodness shoot vampire!”

“A shoot vampire?” the officer answered incredulously.

“We never meant to do anything wrong, but that creepy vampire just came out of nowhere, and he… he…”

“Yes?”

“He stiffed Kevin hard in the face with a high left kick!” The girl sobbed uncontrollably afterwards.

“Then what? He drank Kevin’s blood?”

She regained her composure: “No, just before he fell Kevin had the good sense to catch the vampire in his guard, but… I don’t know how, but that vampire supported Kevin’s off leg and bypassed that guard as if it were nothing! AS IF IT WERE NOTHING AT ALL!”

The officer sprang for his radio: “Attention all officers, we have a mixed martial arts vampire on the loose! Advise immediately if you ever spot any undead doing Brazilian jujitsu!”

[We fade to a warning: “Coming soon to OMG!W the Russian Shoot Vampire, Demeter Romanov!”]


OH MY GOD! WRESTLING proudly presents...
THE BLOODY ARENA OF IMMORTAL BATTLE
19th Feb 2007From the Forza Arena, Milan
Martin Wyngarde comes out and thanks the 400 fans for turning up and he hopes they’ll enjoy the action from OMG!W tonight. Wyngarde says he is pleased to announce several new additions to the OMG!W roster. The first is a new referee, the former wrestling legend ‘Best Ever’ Bobby Trevor who should bring strength, integrity and experience to the OMG!W. The second is the great Texan wrestler, ‘Bad Dog’ Scott Haggarty, who has fought some of the best in the sport. The third is the cult hero, The Baby Eater. The fourth is The Russian Shoot Vampire, Demter Romanov. The fifth is the most dangerous man, pound for pound, anywhere on the planet, El Savaje. All of these are real coups for OMG!W and will debut at the next show, except for Bobby Trevor, who will begin wrestling tonight.

============================================BILLY RANSOM Vs. ZAKI, THE ISLAMIC EXTREMIST
============================================
BILLY RANSOM was put up against his friend ZAKI, THE ISLAMIC EXTREMIST for this match. High flying, fast, and full of great spots, this was one for the fans. Billy Ransom did his best as usual for the fans to ‘Turn them on’ but he lost out several times on securing the victory preferring to go for exciting spots. Zaki was good, and the match fought in a friendly manner. Victory came for Zaki when he got Billy Ransom with the I-Slam at the 11 minute mark. A really good match though.
========================
KING HELL Vs. ALAN IVORY
========================KING HELL gouged a hole out of ALAN IVORY's head last week. They met again in one on one action as King Hell continued to establish his fearsome reputation. As a large, nasty man, King Hell, straight out of Hell’s Kitchen as one of its toughest exports, he wasn’t someone Alan Ivory particularly wanted to face. King Hell was dominant. Alan Ivory is increasingly looking like someone without a future in OMG!W. We join the match in the final moments, four minutes in.

MC: Well, this has just been embarrassing. Ivory has barely put up a fight.

EH: Is King Hell that good, or Ivory that bad.

MC: He hasn’t been the same since Mental Ben assaulted him in his own special way.

EH: King Hell…he puts Ivory over his shoulder…it’s going to be HKS time!

MC: Hell’s Kitchen Sink!

EH: RUNNING POWERSLAM INTO THE TURNBUCKLE…and over into a pin!

MC: 1…..




2….




EH: 3!

MC: Victory for King Hell. He made Ivory look like nothing.

=======================TAG-TEAM TITLE MATCH
THE DIRTY FACES
Vs.
THE ITALIAN STALLIONS.=======================

Jim Bastard and Leon Bronski, the brawling tag-champs of OMG!W, were up against the GPWE tag-team Italian Stallions. Just a few days ago, The Dirty Faces stormed the GPWE event in Manchester and attacked the Italian Stallions in what has become an intense feud in a short time. Antonio Annucci and Gianfranco Palluta got massive hometown support against the Dirty Faces, which is something they’re not used to. This was actually a good tag-team contest with both teams controlling for periods, cutting off opponents, tagging frequently, and saving their partners. The Italian Stallions refused to get drawn into brawls outside the ring. After a match of many near falls, we join the match in the fifteenth minute for its conclusion.

MC: This has been some contest.

EH: It really has. Annucci pulls Bronski into a small package…


1!





2!





EH: Bastard makes the save.

MC: Palluta comes in and goes for Bastard and now they’re battling outside the ring.

EH: Annucci…GERMAN SUPLEX INTO A BRIDGING PIN!



1!




2!




MC: Bronski gets his shoulder up.

EH: Bastard has laid Palluta out with a chair! Bronski is distracting Bobby Trevor…Bastard slides in…CHAIR SHOT!

MC: What a bastard! Annucci is out cold.

EH: Bastard out of the ring, Bronski makes the cover…



1!






2!






3!

MC: No question. But a highly dubious ending.

EH: What do you expect when you face The Dirty Faces?

MC: Their tag-team dominance continues.

======================================================SIX MAN TORNADO TAG ELIMINATION MATCHSTEVE HANSON, AL TONKA and 'TEXAS DEATH' ALEX COUGAR
Vs.
PABLO RAREFACTION, YUBAI and JAKE COGBURN
======================================================
This match was all over the place. Even referee ‘Best Ever’ Bobby Trevor had trouble keeping up with this one. Cogburn had asked his team mates to soften up his opponents arms but they didn’t listen. Besides, Cogburn was spending most of the night fending off Cougar, while Rarefaction and Hanson went at it, leaving Al Tonka to battle Yubai. However, the first elimination was quite surprising in the 3rd minute.

MC: Comedy drunk Indian Al Tonka crouches behind Yubai…Cougar whips Cogburn into Yubai who staggers back over Tonka…ROLL UP BY TONKA!


1!





2!




3!


[ BIG POP FOR TONKA! ]

MC: Wow! Wow! Al Tonka pinned Yubai! That’s incredible! That’s incredible!

EH: Is he good, or lucky?

MC: Sometimes it is the same thing!

[ The advantage was not to continue long. In the fifth minute, with Tonka helping Hanson with Rarefaction…]

MC: Cogburn, he’s been working on Cougar’s shoulder…and now he might get the pay off…OKLAHOMA ARMBAR! And Cougar can’t hold out for long.

EH: Tonka and Hanson can’t do anything to save him, Rarefaction is keeping them busy.

MC: Cougar taps out!

EH: And Cogburn is getting great pleasure from seeing Cougar tap. Cogburn looks unstoppable with that finisher. Anyone would give in to that.

[ Tonka and Cogburn then collided. But while they did, in the seventh minute…]

MC: State Champion Pablo Rarefaction has not been having the best match…IRONSPEAR! Steve Hanson just tore through Rarefaction. He makes the cover…



1!





2!




3!

MC: The State Champion has been pinned! By the ex-state champion. And that’s going to be great for Hanson’s confidence as he tries to get back his State championship. It’s going to worry Rarefaction for sure.

[ This left Tonka and Hanson against Cogburn. Cogburn put up a good battle, but against two opponents, it was asking too much, although the threat was more from Hanson than Tonka who just seemed to be too drunk to wrestle sometimes! ]

MC: Cogburn has Tonka in the Oklahoma Armbar, but Hanson is back up to his feet and makes the save.

EH: Cogburn goes toe to toe with Hanson – and clotheslines him over the top rope!

MC: Al Tonka from the top rope – RED MAN’S REVENGE!!! Tonka makes the cover…




1!





2!









MC: 3!

EH: No, just a two! Just a two.

MC: You’re right, Bobby Trevor signals it was a two count. But here comes Hanson again…IRONSPEAR! That’s another finisher, and this must be it.



1!









2!









MC: 3! Hanson and Tonka win it for their team, but it was a great performance from Cogburn who is looking more and more like a serious title threat.

===========================
#1 CONTENDER MATCH
BULL TYLER Vs. THE SPARTAN
===========================BULL TYLER and THE SPARTAN battled to a draw last week after an exciting conclusion to a high impact match after Tyler superplexed The Spartan to the outside. The Spartan enjoyed huge support as usual from his fans, or the ‘Legion of Spartans’ as he calls them. Big Bull Tyler was as mean and nasty as usual in the ring, a truly intimidating ring presence. These two always provide a good battle, even if it is little more than a brawl with some power moves, and this was no different. We join the match in the seventh minute.

MC: And here we have Spartan…he’s attempting to suplex the 456lb monster…AND HE DOES IT! OH MY GOD, HE DOES IT! THE RING SHOOK!

EH: I hate to say it, but that’s impressive.

MC: The fans are cheering Spartan on. He bounces off the ropes…FROG SPLASH…BULL TYLER RAISES HIS KNEES!!!

EH: The win is taken entirely out of Spartan.

MC: Tyler gets to his feet…BULLDOZER! BULLDOZER! He makes the cover…



1!




2!









MC: SPARTAN KICKS OUT!

EH: Not in time! Not in time!

MC: You’re right Eric, you’re right. Bobby Trevor counted to 3, and this one is over.

EH: Hahaha, look at this. Spartan is having one of his Spartan Surges and it’s too late.

MC: But Bull Tyler isn’t having time to enjoy his victory. He lays punches on Spartan but Spartan just shakes them off…AND CLOTHESLIINES BULL TYLER OVER THE TOP ROPE! The fans love it!

EH: Because they’re morons! Let the man enjoy his victory.

MC: It’s Bull Tyler. He’s the number one contender, and if Rob Cole is still champion by the end of tonight, it’s going to be a rematch of their incredible match at Danger Has A Face.
=================================================MAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN EEEEEEEEVENTNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - HARDCORE RULESROB COLE [c] Vs. GLADIATOR X.
=================================================
Many expected National Champion ‘OUTCAST’ ROB COLE to have an easy time against Italy’s foremost hardcore wrestler, the ferocious and fearsome GLADIATOR X, but they were wrong, damn wrong. People obviously hadn’t done their homework because the 6’10, 320lbs of pure chiselled muscle that is Gladiator X was very very impressive. Rob Cole got off to a good start, and for a while it looked like Gladiator X wasn’t anything special, but the match shifted Gladiator X’s way when he executed a shoulderbreaker on Cole onto the edge of the steel steps, and this totally ruined Cole’s ability to use his left arm. Cole fought on bravely, but against a man like Gladiator X, who at times seemed impervious to pain or injury, it was asking too much. Gladiator X was brutal with the steel chairs, the tables, the ring steps, the camera cables, the ring turnbuckles. This turned into a brutal beatdown on the National Champion that nobody was expecting, but Rob Cole would not be beaten. We join the match in the twelfth minute.

MC: I can’t believe what we’ve seen here. I can’t believe it. This match has been truly incredible. Such resiliency from Cole. The fans are chanting his name. But it’s not looking good for him.

[ CRASH! ]
EH: YES! YES! YES!

MC: OH MY GOD! Gladiator with his Trident Driver – a triple piledriver – ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR IN THE CENTRE OF THE RING!

EH: IT’S OVER!

MC: Referee Bobby Trevor makes the count…


1!






2!





EH: 3!

[ MEGA SHOCK POP! ]

MC: 3! OH MY GOD! GLADIATOR X – he’s beaten Rob Cole! We have a new National Champion!

EH: Nobody was expecting this. Nobody.

MC: Wait, what is this?

EH: Gladiator X is putting on his spiked metal elbow pad.

MC: He’s not going to is he?

EH: Bobby Trevor is telling him not to. He’s warning him.

MC: Gladiator X isn’t listening…AND HE THROWS Bobby Trevor out of the ring!

EH: That’s how to treat Bobby Trevor!

MC: Gladiator X – he’s going to the top rope – he’s planning to drop that spiked metal elbow pad onto Rob Cole…

OH!



MY!



GOD!!!!!!

CROWD: OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

EH: He did it! The new National champion just dropped a spiked elbow pad onto the chest of Rob Cole!

MC: That looks nasty, that looks damn damn nasty. We’ve got blood coming out of Rob Cole.

[ DING DING DING! DING DING DING! ]

MC: Get that man some medical attention.

EH: Bobby Trevor has the mic…what is he up to? He’s just a referee!

BT: Gladiator X, I don’t know if you can understand me, but understand this…YOU ARE DISQUALIFIED!

[ MEGA POP! ]

BT: You don’t push me around like that and you sure can’t expect to do what you just did and not have the decision reversed. Rob Cole is still the National champion.

EH: Gladiator X doesn’t like that and he’s going for ‘Best Ever’ Bobby Trevor!

MC: Gladiator X has Bobby Trevor by the throat outside the ring, he’s going to chokeslam him through the table…

[ HUGE OH MY GOD! POP! ]

MC: ROB COLE! ROB COLE! HE LEAPS OFF THE TOP ROPE AND BULLDOGS GLADIATOR X THROUGH THE TABLE WITH HIS GOOD ARM!

[ OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! ]

MC: Blood is coming out of his chest, and he did get beaten, but oh my god, he is still the National Champion! He is still fighting. What another amazing night for OMG!W. This is Monty Carlos and Eric Helmroy signing off until next time.

[ Fade ]

[c] OMG!W 2007