RHUMBLE IN RHODE ISLAND

National Express Wrestling proudly presents…

RHUMBLE IN RHODE ISLAND
From Roger Williams University, Rhode Island

A strong turn-out of 143 quite vocal fans turned up for the return of National Express Wrestling. The owner, Jack Cassidy, came out beforehand and thanked everyone for turning up and said that they need to check out the Nat-Ex website for all the pre-match comments from the new stars of Nat-Ex.

Jack Cassidy then said it was his honour to be introducing ROB COLE to the fans of Nat-Ex. At 6’3, 283lbs, this experienced, thick built wrestler got a great pop from the clued-up fans. He was up against YUBAI, THE GENOCIDAL GIANT, and at 7’3, 444lbs, and this towering Tokyo native really stood out. He made the bold claim of being unpinnable before the match. Yubai had quite a bit of the early going, throwing Cole around. Yubai is quite simply immense. But Cole is resilient and his game plan of striking at the leg legs and knee of Yubai, and yanking away at them really hobbled the genocidal giant. The match spilled to the outside and they brawled for a bit before Cole was able to ram Yubai’s knee into the ring post. The giant was down and in pain, and Cole slipped back into the ring just in time for a count-out victory.
Match Rating: 7/10
Time: 7:41

That match really got the crowd going. Out next was ZAKI, THE ISLAMIC EXTREMIST going for it against PABLO RAREFACTION. The well-meaning and good-natured Zaki, from London, England was up against the heavily-built Pablo who just looked dangerous, full-stop. And so it proved. Despite taking Rarefaction down early with his trademark sideslam that he calls the iSlam, he couldn’t get the pin. Pablo then went to work and pulled Zaki apart with an array of neck and back breaking slams before finishing him off with the Dimebag Darrell Dropped Dead (4-D).
Match Rating: 7/10
Time: 4:32

One half the tag team champions, the highflying EL LOCO GATO went into the ring with the monstrous THE THIIIIIING. El Loco Gato is extremely popular with the fans but he didn’t seem in good form this night, and despite his lumbering, The Thiiiing, aided by Shona’s screaming and shouting, scored the victory with the Banzai drop. This match was poor, by all standards.
Match Rating: 4/10
Time: 5:41

From one head-case to another, this time it was the oddball MENTAL BEN, with his wheelchair bound manager Matt Malone up against the arrogant playboy ALAN IVORY with his manager Ebony Andrews, who got a lot of male heat! Ivory then slammed the fans by saying he was too good to wrestle in Rhode Island. This match had good speed to it, but lacked finesse from Mental Ben who just threw himself at Ivory. Ivory, a good high-flyer too, kept on beating on Mental Ben, but Ben wouldn’t stay down. There was lots of interfering from Ebony Andrews and Matt Malone and at one point Andrews chased Malone around the ring, and the fans laughed at him wheeling away as fast as he could. Amidst all that, Ivory had rolled out of a top rope splash attempt by Mental Ben, and leapt to the top rope and hit ‘The Tusk’ – a flying elbow drop – onto Ben and got the 1-2-3. While he and Ebony celebrated though, Mental Ben got to his feet and clotheslined them both from behind. The fans started chanting ‘WE WANT THE FINGER’ and Ben smiled with delight as he primed his finger and began to pull down Ivory’s trunks for his trademark Finger/Ass move, but before he could, Pete Sheridan came to the ring and saved his stablemate, Alan Ivory. The Thiiiiing also lumbered out and them stomped on Mental Ben.
Match Rating : 6/10
Time: 8:32

PETE SHERIDAN was in action next against the popular CHRIS HARTT. Sheridan offered his hand at the beginning and Hartt took it, and there were no dirty tricks! Even with Shona on the outside, Sheridan wrestled clean, and this was simply a good clean wrestling match, with Sheridan seemingly trying to work on Hartt’s head. Well, clean except for Shona trying to interfere, saving Pete a few times. Sheridan came close to winning when Shona distracted Hartt and Sheridan pulled Hartt into a roll up. Victory was to be Hartt’s though when he got Sheridan in The Avenger, a crossface chickenwing submission. Good match.
Match Rating: 8/10
Time: 14:21

BULL TYLER’s first defence of his NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP was up against the mega-popular Ultimate Warrior rip-off, THE SPARTAN. This was two big powerful forces up against each other, and it really did rock the ring. Spartan really had Bull Tyler on the ropes, and out of the ring a few times. Bull Tyler is nothing if not ultra formidable, and he came back to battle and really blasted Spartan, but Spartan psyched out and it looked like Bull Tyler was going to be minus the National Championship by the time the Battle Royale came around, but a planned over-the-top rope backdrop by the Spartan was ruined when Tyler telegraphed the move and swiftly picked Spartan up and into the Bulldozer, his deadly fold-up powerbomb. 1-2-3, game over, and a successful and impressive title defence for Bull Tyler.
Match Rating: 8/10
Time: 10:10

The main event was the Battle Royale where anyone who eliminated more than four wrestlers would get a title shot at Bull Tyler. Everyone was in there to begin with, so that ring was cram-packed. A lot of the losers from the matches earlier in the night went after the winner, but really it was kind of chaotic and messy. Yubai made a strong early impression, eliminating Billy Ransom and then WooWoo Stardust in quick succession with chokeslams over the top rope. Bull Tyler was a shock early elimination, being clotheslined over the top rope by Rob Cole. Chris Hartt got rid of Morten Wyndarde. El Loco Gato went to the top rope and got knocked off by Steve Hanson. Zaki, at the same time, sickle kicked Leon Bronski out of the action. Rob Cole simultaneously took Vincent Van Glory and Gregory Van Glory out of the ring with a double-knocker-knocker and a tip out of the ring. Pablo Rarefaction then slammed Zaki out of the ring. Mental Ben then leapt at him and he caught him and threw him out. Peter Sheridan and The Thing worked together to throw Curt Cover and Davey Duck out of the ring, but as they did that, their stablemate Alan Ivory was eliminated by The Spartan. Pablo Rarefaction took care of Jose Ruiz, suplexing him over the top rope and to the outside. Chris Hartt then managed to dropkick Pete Sheridan out of the ring. The Thing and Jim Bastard eliminated each other, tumbling over the top rope together. This left Chris Hartt, Rob Cole, the Spartan, Pablo Rarefaction and Yubai, the Genocidal Giant. While Chris Hartt tried to eliminate the Spartan, Pablo Rarefaction came from behind and tipped Hartt out of the ring. When he did this though, Robe Cole eliminated Pablo Rarefaction. This got him his 4 eliminations and a shot at the man he’d knocked out of the ring earlier, Bull Tyler. But quick behind him was Yubai, who hit Rob Cole with a big chop to the back of the head, knocking Cole out of the ring. With this, Yubai too earned his title shot. This left the giant Yubai and the powerhouse Spartan. The fans were so behind Spartan it was untrue, but despite quite an intense battle for a few minutes, Yubai was able to emerge victorious, hitting Spartan with the big boot, knocking him out of the ring and with that winning the Battle Royale.
Match Rating: 8/10
Time: 23.01

Coming next week…VIOLENCE IN VIRGINIA